FEATURE
A Breakdown Of Different Types Of Hip-Hop Producers by DJ Iceman
OK, so me being the observant person I am I kinda noticed some things about the Hip-Hop producer community. Nothing major just some personality traits that I tend to notice about certain gear owners. Before you go jumpin out the window this is ALL JOKES so just calm down…
MPC OWNERS
These are the “gatekeepers” the “If you ain’t own a MPC/SP 1200, you ain’t real” dudes. Always citing Pete Rock as their main influence. Always love to tell that story about when he found that one Panamanian disco polka record for .79 and sampled the fuck out of it.
MASCHINE OWNERS
This is the “Team Lightskin” of Hip-Hop producers. No matter how dope shit is and how nice they are on the Maschine, they still feel like they have to compensate for shit. Their favorite comeback is “hey at least I’m still hitting pads”
SP404 OWNERS
These are the nerdy, anime loving kids, that don’t give a fuck about rappers, but can recite every MF DOOM song verbatim. They just trying to get their beats on Adult Swim. Normally known as the EDM Dj of the beat world cause of all the knob twisting they do.
TEENAGE ENGINEERING OWNERS
These are the hipster trust fund babies that wouldn’t be caught dead with a 404. These are the guys that will sit and make ambient trip-hop in a coffee shop all day long.
FL STUDIO OWNERS
These are the “next wave” guys that are just a broken mouse away from a nervous breakdown. The ones that always brag about copping the next level plug-in or vst, but use it to do the same hi hat pattern for EVERY song. Almost went into a full meltdown when Beatstars was hacked a few years ago..
ABLETON, PROTOOLS, REAPER,AND OTHER DAW OWNERS
These people are constantly irritated cause they are tired of hearing “Oh you can make beats with that?” have that “dead computer stare” face. have the uncanny ability to discern any frequency down to the hertz, can tell what key your speaking voice is in, and knows the BPM of their cars turn signal
KEYBOARD BEATMAKERS (ASR-10, ROLAND PHANTOM,APK MINI, ETC)
These people have that superiority complex cause they “play a real instrument” and know a lil music theory, despite not knowing the difference between a nocturne, a sonata and a concerto. but also get irritated when people ask “how do you do drums on that” and “I didn’t know you can chop samples on that thing” instead of saying “i make beats.” they say “I play keys” pride themselves on having “soft hands” cause they are not constantly banging pads
MULTIPLE UNIT OWNERS
These people claim to be the “most open minded” despite the fact that they only do ONE genre. constantly lobbying to get G.A.S. (Gear Acquisition Syndrome) recognized as an actual condition so they can write off their gear purchases on their medical insurance.
their houses look like a tornado hit it, but their studios are a master class of organization and wire management. have a stash of other collectables like, comics, toys or sneakers.
Like I said this is all jokes so if ya don’t like it i dont know what to tell ya. LOL
